Novel - The Obsessions - Chapter -12

The Fort of the Lioness and the Lamb

The winter wind was very chilly. I left the Kanpur Central station by the Lucknow Express. My thoughts were disturbed, as I was going to an unknown destination to join my new job position. I looked out. What a contrast to the greenery and streams of my native state! Barren fields stretched up to the horizon and there was no habitation. The sight filled me with an unknown fear. Which godforsaken place I am going to? I asked myself. At every station dirty looking passengers got inside the compartment, making me sicker. Some of them entered into very earnest conversation with me of which I could not follow a word. I smiled at them nodding my head. They opened the bundles carried by them and started to eat some food which looked like dry chapattis. Their side dish was green chillies and onions. An old man offered me what he was eating. I thanked him. The smell was appetizing but I could not adjust to their hygiene. The train sped past a gantry bridge making huge noise. I looked out. For a change the sight was pleasant. The river was full and I looked afar.

“It Is River Jamuna”. My co passenger educated me. It was news to me. I refreshed my knowledge of Geography. The topography changed. I could see many fields with green crops and farmers were irrigating the fields. “It is the Rabi crop” my companion continued to explain to me. I did not understand what Rabi crop was. I gazed at him expressing my ignorance on the subject. “Well, it is the wheat crop; the cultivating season is called Rabi.” I nodded at him. I was collecting so much information during the journey. At the next station I took tea served in small earthen cups. The taste of the tea was strange. But the cups were hygienic as they were thrown away after one use. The landscape slowly changed. Buildings were visible and I could understand that my destination was not too far off.

At 1-30 P.M the train reached the junction. I got out of the carriage. With my luggage, I crossed the over bridge to the first platform and got out of the station. A battalion of tongas (horse carts) greeted me. The drivers were announcing names of different places in the city where they would take the passengers. I approached one of them. Smell of horse dung was all around.

“Take me to Hotel Durbar “I said to the driver.

“You have to pay one rupee”. He cautioned me.

I sat at the back of the tonga. It was very strange. The roads were very narrow. Horse dung was spattered all along the road at intervals. A surge of feeling of helplessness crept into me. Is this the place I have to work? I wondered. The rhythm of the horse’s hooves hitting the asphalt road, reminded me of the songs of Naya Daur and Howrah Bridge. On the way the tonga driver was blabbering in his dihati (Village) Hindi about something.

“Durbar Hotel, huzur” the tonga driver announced. I paid him off and went to the reception.

People were taking lunch at the restaurant and the scent of spices and mustard oil, gave me a nauseating feeling. I hired a single room. The room was very small and not so neat. There was no attached bathroom.

“You have to use the outside bathroom” the waiter said. I threw my luggage around and spread the bed. I opened the window on the west side. I could hear the sound of the hooves of horses and some buses moving along the road. I went to the outside bathroom for a shower. The water was ice cold and I asked for a bucket of hot water. The hot water bath refreshed me and I thought I was regaining my appetite. I pushed the button for the waiter.

“Yes, sir” the waiter came inside the room.

“What can I have for lunch?” I asked him. He recited the whole menu in one breath and I ordered some chapattis and meat curry.

I was very tired. I wanted to sleep for a while after I ate my lunch. The room was very cold and the weather was getting colder as the afternoon advanced. I opened the rug and covered my body and lighted a cigarette. I could not enjoy the cigarette and soon I fell into a disturbed slumber.

I woke up after two hours. I could not believe that I was at a new and strange place. The sun was about to set. My heart felt very heavy and a feeling of homesickness and the thought of my mother, brothers, sister and nephews saddened me so much. I decided to go out for a walk. I rinsed my face with cold water and dressed up covering myself with my usual woolen jersey and got out.

The road was not crowded. I walked southwards and reached a junction. There was a theatre and people were queuing up for the next show. I stepped into the theatre restaurant. A hot cup of tea enlivened my spirits. I walked eastwards from the junction and reached another intersection of roads. I saw many Anglo Indian couples walking along with special dresses and I remembered that it was the Valentine’s Day. The weather was very cold and I started to shiver. I smoked two cigarettes in a row and walked back to the hotel.

The hotel had a bar. It was populated very well. The smell of tobacco and liquor filled the atmosphere. I called the waiter and asked him to bring a quarter bottle of Old Monk rum to my room. I sipped the drink and as the alcohol started to spread into my blood vessels my imagination went astray. My sentiments got very much depressed and I thought of my mother and my brothers at the faraway land. I was not sure when I would be able to see them again and stay with them. My young mind could not stand the strain of separation. I consumed the whole bottle of rum and ordered my dinner. As I started to eat, my intoxication reached its azimuth and I felt that the room was reeling around me. I did not know when I fell asleep.

It was the day when I received my first salary, as Junior Engineer in the Hydro-Electric project, at the age of twenty one. When I went for my lunch at the mess, Workshop–in–charge, Sukumara Pillai reminded me “Look, it is customary that every new entrant to this mess will host a party to the mess mates when he receives his first salary. It is your turn. I shall arrange everything and you can pay with the monthly mess bill.” He smiled. His white teeth were a contrast to his dark face.

Work was over in the evening at the usual time. I had tea and went to the project club. Joseph was ready with the shuttle cocks and rackets. We played a couple of games. By that time, the basket ball players arrived. We moved to the basketball court. We played a few matches. Joseph was a university player in West Bengal. He always wore a jersey of the university. Mathew and Hanif joined. Varkey came in his shorts. He smiled at me and said “Congratulations on your first salary”. I felt proud of myself. I had started to earn. Our family financial problems would all be over. My mother’s patience and her dedication were the driving factors of me becoming an engineer. I had already sent a part of my first salary to my mother by a money order at the post office.

We stopped playing and dispersed early due to the oncoming evening party. I had a hot bath. The weather got colder by the evening. When I reached the mess at Parameswaran’s quarters, I got nervous, as I knew that alcohol was going to be served. I had never taken alcohol in my life. All the messmates arrived. It was party time.

“This is fish from the forest streams” Varkey pointed to a plate full of fried fish. Another plate contained meat pieces with gravy. Naked boiled eggs were ready in another plate for the oral pleasure. Fish curry and egg curry were some of the other delicacies. Sukumara Pillai brought a bottle of Brandy. He poured it in many glasses like a professional bartender. Water was poured in the glasses to individual tastes. He handed over a glass to me.

“Please, I don’t want, I don’t drink, please excuse me” I pleaded.

“Don’t talk like a girl” Mathew made fun of me.

“Sir, have a little, it is brandy. It is good for the winter. Nothing will happen” Varkey came to me and patted my back. Varkey was a real well wisher of mine and I yielded. All raised their glasses. I followed suit. All the glasses met in a mild clatter. “Cheers”. The uttering was very hurriedly completed, as everyone started to sip the liquid like starving people. With a shivering hand I put the glass to my quivering lips. The brandy drops first rolled over my tongue as fire balls and then entered my throat. I felt like someone is poking a molten iron rod into my throat. The liquid travelled to my stomach like a forest fire. The innocent lining of my stomach was inundated. Varkey offered me a piece of fried fish and asked me to eat. I bit the piece and swallowed it and drowned it with another sip of the fiery liquid. My ears became hot and I felt as if hot fumes were escaping through my ears. There was a gnawing sensation in my stomach. My eyelids started to close a little. Another sip gave me a little pleasure. I started to smile at others involuntarily.

While others completed two pouring, I found it difficult to finish the first one. Mathew poured another one in my glass. The attack on the food and the dishes started as lions would on their prey and there was silence except for the sipping of the liquor and biting of the bones. When I finished the third one, I was out of my senses. The room was turning around me with the people in it. All the faces looked like demons. My stomach started to churn inside. There was an upward flow through my gullet. Varkey took me to the bathroom. I thought it was the end of the world. I emptied everything that I took inside my stomach…….

My head was aching and when I opened my eyes, I was lying on the bed at the Durbar Hotel. I had vomited profusely on the floor. I pressed the call button. When the waiter came in, I gave him Rs 10/ and requested him to clean up the room.

The morning was misty. It was 10 O’clock when I stepped into the Canal Divisional Office with a nagging head ache. A bunch of people wearing old type coats were working around huge piles of files. I met the chief accountant and showed him my appointment letter. He smiled at me and requested me to sit on the chair in front of him. He called the orderly and asked him to accompany me to the Executive Engineer’s office. I followed him. On the way he asked me several questions and I answered them without knowing what the questions were about. We walked along the railway station road and negotiated a gradient and turned left at the next junction. Proceeding further we turned right on to a mud track. It was very narrow. A few quarters were visible. There was a board at the first house, R K Agarwal, Asst. Engineer. Moving along we reached the Executive Engineer’s office. It was an office cum residence. In front of the office there was a beautiful and well maintained garden. The front elevation of the building was full of arches and the architecture surely belonged to the era of the British Raj.

A lean and dark person came out of the office. His upper lip had a Hitler moustache. He smiled at me reminding me of Charlie Chaplin. He wished me and led me inside. The Executive Engineer was in his early forties and of medium built. I wished him and he shook hands with me. His hands were soft and his smile came from within his heart, I guessed. A lady fat and plump with a non proportionate body with respect to her individual parts, was sitting on the left side. She, too, smiled at me. The lady started to talk first. She asked me how I came so far from Kerala to Uttar Pradesh and joined the department. I had my ready made answers which I had already given to several of my co passengers in the train.

“The people of Kerala are very enterprising. They go out of their state to work and you can find them everywhere in India.” Mr S K Bansal, the Executive Engineer praised the Keralites. Bansal saheb explained to me that I was going to take charge of the fourth sub division of field channels which is at Lalpur, about 80 km from town. Till such time the office was established there. He asked me to occupy a room in the Inspection House, near the Divisional Office as no official residence was available at that time to be allotted to me. He asked me to submit the joining report taking charge of the post at the divisional office. He wished me good luck and we parted.

Bansal saheb was very considerate and helping. That feeling gave me good moral support and relief in the land of the Aryans, the North India.

Saturday evening, I reached Kanpur by the afternoon train at 6 o’clock. I hired a cycle rickshaw and reached Shakti Nagar. My nephews hugged me and my sister was relieved to see me. I gave an account of my new job. I felt very happy. I wrote to my mother about my new job. I could visualize the happiness of my mother and brothers on reading the letter.

In the evening, I rushed to Roopnagar, to Menon and Nair. They congratulated me on my new employment. That night, we celebrated. Bhaskaran Pillai had cooked rice, saambar and Menon made very tasty omelette. Raman Nair broke the seal of a rum bottle. They actually wanted a reason to drink and that night I was the reason. I took very little liquor as I had to return home to my sister. I was musing about the life of umpteen numbers of Malayalees like Menon and Nair. They were all living at a distant place from their home for their livelihood. Evenings they spent happily with the intoxication provided by alcohol, again to get up the next morning with a melancholy feeling, and the cycle continued.

I returned the next day in the evening to my work place.

There was a knock at the door of the Inspection House. I opened the big door. A gentleman, short in stature was smiling at me with the full width of his mouth. He had parked his bicycle on the side.

“I am Balan” he spoke in Malayalam. “I work in the Railway Division Office and I am staying at the Civil Lines” he continued.

“How did you know that I am staying here” I asked him with surprise.

“Well, I always check here for visitors and I tried today and there you are” he laughed heartily. We spoke about ourselves. He said he was staying with his family and he had two daughters aged six and three. He invited me to his house. I thanked him and promised to visit his house some other time. He left and I stood at the door watching him pedal past the gate, feeling happy that at least I was able to spot a Malayalee at that place.

The evening was pleasant. The months of March were very pleasant when the severity of the winter took a downward plunge. I walked down the gradient from the Inspection House towards Durbar Hotel and turned right. At the theatre junction, I took a turn to the left. Many tonga drivers stopped and asked where I wanted to go. I decided to walk that evening. The fort was in sight. My knowledge of history was reasonable. I felt excited as I was heading towards the fort of the lioness who defied the British. She was the pride of India who would always be remembered as the most stubborn queen of the previous century. The smell of blood fallen on the earth for protecting the homeland seemed to pervade the atmosphere. I heard the cling-clang sound of the swords and daggers in my imagination. Cannon fire boomed the atmosphere, I mused. My patriotism got a boost and I felt very proud to be standing in front of that fort.

I went back to the Inspection House. I wrote a letter to my mother about the fort and my work. There was a knock at the door. Balan was standing with his usual smile. He invited me to his home. It was 7O’clock in the evening and I decided to go with him.

I sat at the back of his cycle. He carried my weight, not so much heavy, and we reached the Civil Lines. On to the left was a group of old houses, may be belonging to the British era. He parked his cycle in front of his house. Two girls came out.

“My daughters Prameela and Nisha” he introduced the girls to me. I was invited to his house. It was dark inside. The smell of coal from the anghiti (a kind of fire place like a stove) and cooking oil was floating inside the room with a thin film of smoke. Half of the kitchen was separated by a dwarf wall and seemed like a bath place. It was cool inside. His wife greeted me. She was short, slim and very beautiful. She had a small mouth surrounded by shapely lips. She was wearing a cardigan, probably knitted by her. She smiled at me exposing her well aligned and white teeth.

I sat on the sofa. Balan refreshed with a French bath. His wife enquired about my family. She gave an account of their native place. I noticed that her sense of humour was great and she laughed at regular intervals. At one instance, I noticed she was looking at me without closing her eyes for a long time. There was a red colour spreading on her cheeks.

Supper was set on a small table. The dishes were very tasty. The specialty was a pickle made from a vegetable locally called karonda. It was very hot and spicy. The mutton curry was delicious with lots of pepper in it. Paranthas prepared in ghee were crispy and tasty. I was compelled to eat a lot by Mrs Balan and she would never stop serving.

Balan gave an account of the Malayalee population in town. Captain Pillai and his wife were staying at the Cantonment quarters. Captain Pillai was recruited for Short Service Commission. The Principal of the Polytechnic was Professor Sanakara Menon.

I planned to walk back to the Inspection house after bidding farewell to Balan and family. Mrs Balan asked me when I would come next.

I smiled and said “I shall try to come some other time”.

When I looked back I saw Mrs Balan standing at the door of her residence and waving at me. I felt an attachment to that family. The girls were very loving and I felt at home.

On to the right at the junction was the residence of R P Jain, Asst. Engineer in the Khander Canal Division. As I walked along, I saw a doctor’s residence, Dr Gordhino's. The weather became colder and the mutton curry and paranthas stood in good stead for me to fight the chill.