The Obsessions - Final Chapter

Paradise Lost

It was Christmas time. The Paradise was illuminated. Everyone’s face was beaming with happiness. On the Christmas Eve, we arranged gifts to be distributed among the inmates. Krishnan Nair brought an attire of Santa Claus. I became the Santa for them. I gave the presents to them. When they hugged me, tears rolled on to the long white beard of Santa. That was a moment of joy. I felt proud of myself. I said to myself that I would see triumph in my life, which was eluding me all these days. Loving people were around me and God’s kindness flowed through them.

Gopalan made special dishes. Some of the inmates sang devotional songs. I joined the chorus. As the midnight hour struck we looked for the star in the sky. The stars were twinkling in everyone’s heart. We sat around the table and enjoyed the dinner. We thanked God to have allowed us to live another day. The joy in the Paradise was boundless. For those who had been deserted, God is there always to protect them.

The joyous mood of the Paradise continued, awaiting the New Year. The sun dipped in the sea for the last time in the year at the western horizon. We had arranged a local orchestra to perform at the paradise. Everyone danced. It was great fun. Gopalakrishnan Nair’s Kathakali was grand, as he played the part of Poothana with long stuffed breasts. We laughed our hearts out, when at the end, the breasts fell down from Nair’s chest. Abdul Khader sang “Kayalarikathu…” With prayers, we greeted the New Year. Our merriment continued till late hours in the morning.

The New Year sun rose in the east. There was a thin film of mist on the surface of the sea. The sea was very calm that morning, perhaps it had taken a resolution of remaining calm all through the year. At the Paradise, everyone got up late. There was no bell ringing at 6 O’ clock as Gopalan was snoring away to glory.

At midmorning, a man in a lawyer’s uniform arrived at the Paradise to my inquisitive surprise. He delivered me a sealed parcel and a sealed envelope from the Court of Law. I signed the acknowledgement of receipt and the lawyer left without much talking.

I opened the envelope. My astonishment knew no bounds as I started to read a letter contained in that envelope.

There was no date and no place of origin written in the letter.

“You might be wondering who the sender of this letter is. I am Kamala. Now you will remember me. You had visited me months back after you had returned from the Gulf.”

My excitement rose high. I continued to read the letter.

“I wanted to divulge a stark truth to you that day. But I thought this would be the right time to reveal the secret”.

Secret? I was bewildered.

“Years back; you had come to me one day during one of your vacations while you were studying for engineering. That day was the happiest day in my life. We had celebrated our mutual love when our bodies mingled with each other in conjugal happiness.

You had again visited me after many months when you had arrived to take part in the Kummatty festival. You heard a baby crying and asked me about him. I answered that he was my third son and you had asked me whether I had patched up with my husband. I said I had. That was a lie. In fact we were divorced and we had no relationship at all after our rendezvous the previous year.

You are the father of my third son. He is YOURS, YOUR FLESH and BLOOD”

It was like a lightning striking me. I thought my heart would stop. My senses went astray. Darkness spread everywhere. Oh My God. I read further.

“I kept this as secret because I did not want to derail your life with the unbelievable reality. Our son grew up not knowing anything about his real father. He was under the impression that my husband was his father. He had never seen my husband in his life as we were divorced. But I had to tell him the secret while he was leaving for the United States for his higher studies in medicine. He was only twenty two years then. I told him to take an oath not to be in touch with you or search for you.

He did his post graduation from the United States. He flourished there and now he owns a Hospital there. He came here for his wedding and I asked him to renew his oath about you. He would never come along your way in your life.

You won’t be able to meet me in person, because by the time you receive this letter, I would be dead and gone. This is the arrangement I made with the court.

I wish you all the best in your life.

Kamala….”

My God!!! Kamala is dead!!!. I could not believe it. The ocean roared behind the Paradise. It was perturbed as I was. Tears rolled out of my eyes like a never ending flood. My throat choked. My heart pounded heavily. I was a teen father. And all these years I never knew it. I have another son and he is the elder brother of my daughter and two sons. What an irony of fate!!! I have to meet him and I need to apologize to him. I have to bring him to our family. I took an oath.

I opened the parcel. My eyes could not believe the sight. It was the yellow sari she used to wear whenever we had met, decades back. Sobs emanated from my chest in an uncontrollable succession. I buried my face into the softness of the fabric. Her aroma spread the atmosphere. I would never see her in my life. I will keep the sari as a memento, as a treasure. I sobbed again.

The Paradise was gloomy. All the inmates wished me a peaceful life. Abdul Khader and Gopala Krishnan Nair wept, hugging me. For the first time I saw tears in Krishnan Nair’s eyes. He was a seasoned campaigner and he had seen many moments of anguish and mental agony. But he could not resist that day.

“I am losing, my right hand. You helped me in running the Paradise. This was not a shelter. It became a temple of love with your arrival. Your compassion and brotherhood will always be a lesson to everyone and you will remain in our hearts eternally” Krishnan Nair said.

I walked to the beach behind the Paradise, for the last time. I wanted the waves to wash away my sins once again. I walked ahead and washed my face with the salty water of the sea, my companion. I looked at the setting sun. It submerged and promised me to meet again somewhere at the other side of this planet.

There was a spot of tear in Joseph’s eyes as I looked at his portrait. As the taxi car moved ahead, the Paradise moved backwards slowly. The car sped along. I felt alone in the crowd.

At the airport, the noise of jets landing and taking off did not amuse me. At the gate, my son and daughter stood with faces of depression.

“I am going out of God’s Own Country. I have not spoken to your mother for days. I will do that later, I have to tell her a lot. Good luck and God bless you” I said. A faint smile adorned their faces when they bade goodbye to me. The dark constable at the gate examined my ticket and passport. The Emirates flight took off on time.

My youngest son greeted me at the JFK airport, New York. The atmosphere instilled more freedom in me. We took the next domestic flight to my son’s place. We reached in one hour. We walked to the parking lot where my son’s car was parked.

Snow fell like white rain, profusely. All along the road, bulldozers were clearing the snow. On our way back to his residence, there was complete silence. As we reached the residence, Vinay knocked at the door. I was astonished and I could not believe my eyes. My wife stood at the door entrance, with a mischievous smile.

“Happy Wedding Anniversary, father” Vinay wished me. I looked at the date in my watch. That was the day of the month when I had married her years back.

That night when she hugged and kissed me, she said in my ears “Even though we are two bodies, we are one. Aren’t you my love, my life?”

Yes I am my dearest I said. I hugged and kissed her her in a warm embrace. She was the only solace to me.

I was on a mission…………on an expedition…….

******The Beginning******